I had planned on doing much more in terms of marketing for small business Saturday this year, but however, life had other plans. As a one woman show here at Fox Card Co, I had to allow myself to sit in grief and take rest and really couldn’t get myself to do much more for my business other than ship orders this past few days.
On Wednesday morning, my sweet senior dog, Mr. B entered his final sleep. It was, to say the least, incredibly devastating. To experience this level of sadness is complete agony for us. However, amidst the full body pain I was experiencing I found some moments of relief when a friend or family memory offered me love through text messages, phone calls and gifts.
These acts of love reminded me how impactful and necessary our connections with others are in times of great sadness. And this really is the heart and soul of my business. My cards help people connect with each other and show love and It’s especially hard to know what to say when someone is grieving, but cards help us find the words.
As a small business owner I want you to know just how much heart goes into my artwork. My sympathy cards are the best selling category of my collection and I know it's because they speak authentic, meaningful words during the hardest parts of life.
I wasn’t even fully aware when I started Fox Card Co that this would end up being the outcome of it. I just loved making art and greeting cards felt like a good place for it. However, I think deep in my subconscious I ended up making greeting cards with my art because I wanted to help foster emotional connections between people. Especially during 2020 when I was stuck at home in order to keep myself and loved ones safe from a deadly virus.
In 2020 when the world shut down I lived in Pittsburgh, PA. While remaining incredibly cautious not to interact with any other humans, my husband and I drove down to Florida a few times to stay at my mother in laws new vacation home. My husband has auto-immune disorders and is immunosuppressed so our 2020 was very much secluded. These trips we took to Florida were a wonderful change of environment for us and we would quarantine there for a few weeks at a time before heading back to PA to quarantine once again in our home.
Mr. B of course came with us. He was always our backseat boy and a wonderful travel companion. He rode with us when we moved to California in 2016 and back to St. Louis, Missouri in 2017. In 2019 he joined us for our move back to Pittsburgh and was along for the many rides to Florida throughout 2020. In 2022 he made his final long car journey with us to Denver, CO which would be his final rest stop.
He’s peed in many states, from CA to FL - quite literally from sea to shining sea. How many dogs can say they played in the shores of the Pacific Ocean and pranced along the boardwalk in Pompano Beach, FL? He climbed the steps at Red Rocks Amphitheater and took a dump somewhere around row 45. He peed in the parking lot at the Grand Canyon. He joyfully sniffed the air from the open window while riding through the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. He dipped his toes in the the Youghiogheny river, the Huzzah creek and the Rio Grande. And besides his hot breath, I have no complaints. Memories of glancing up at my rear view mirror and seeing him smiling at me fill my heart with delight and my eyes with moisture.
He loved the Florida house. He got excited when we would arrive, he’d leap from the car and go straight to the front door. He spent those days lounging on the back porch under the ceiling fan while I would work remotely for my job and we would take walks where he could smell new smells and see the iguanas and exotic Florida birds. We would go “liz hunting” and search for lizards in the foliage. He never would hurt a lizard though, just give them a sniff, he was an incredibly gentle beast.
During our stays in Florida I worked on many card designs. I had just started Fox Card Co in July 2020 and I didn’t want to lose momentum so I brought my boxes of cards, envelopes and all the various supplies with me so I could continue to ship orders and grow.
I decided I needed to add some pet sympathy cards to the shop. I knew this type of loss needed it’s own special card so I sketched out some ideas and phrases, even though it was really hard for me to even think about.
I chose the phrase that meant the most to me, “no matter how long we have with them, it’s never long enough.” And I drew up a simple angel dog sitting on cloud with his back turned to the viewer and it made me cry. I got emotional knowing that one day it would be my turn to feel this great loss.
I couldn’t even really fathom it because I loved him so much and he was just always… there. There for happy times and there to help us in sadness and sickness. We joked that he had “healing powers” and whenever someone wasn’t feeling well we would request “H.P.’s”. He always happily obliged and was happy to just lay there and be there.
But now… he’s not here. Not here to request belly rubs, not here to bring me a stinky stuffed duck to play with, and not here to greet us when we come home. He’s not sleeping on his couch when I come downstairs in the morning. The couch is empty, but my heart is still full.
He’s here in my heart, he’s here in my memories, and he’s here in the things he taught our puppy, Althea. One month ago I brought her home on a whim. I knew I needed to have another dog around when the time came for him to leave us. I just didn’t know how soon that would be. She learned a lot from him in their short time together. How to sit for food instead of jumping, how to wait by the door to notify us of a potty need and most importantly, how to use her “H.P.’s”.
Over these past few days I’ve had so many memories pop up into my head that I hadn’t thought about in a long time. So many things I am remembering about my time with him that bring me immense joy and often tears. But honestly these memories do help with the grief. It can be hard to look at photos, but these snapshots of the past show me over and over again just how lucky we were to have him. They remind me of the boy he once was and how after turning 15 years old, he was rapidly declining and wasn’t feeling like himself. Focusing on those older memories helps me heal.
In 2014 we decided to look for a dog and I went to Animal Friends in Pittsburgh were I had spent some time volunteering to walk and socialize with the adoptable dogs. I knew that one day we would get a dog once we rented somewhere that would allow it. That day had finally come and on November 11th, I took a look around the shelter to see who stood out to me. The staff member recommended this 5 year old black and tan shepherd mix because he seemed like a good fit for our living situation. A potty trained dog who didn’t bark a lot and was ok spending several hours home alone while we were at work.
I met him in the meet and greet room and enjoyed his demeanor. He was chill and friendly and knew how to sit. He clearly had been loved and well trained before landing in the care of Animal Friends. I do not know much of his history except that he was first in a shelter in Indiana county, PA before being taken in by the rescue group at Animal Friends. I decided to put him on hold and the next day while I was at work, Jim went to meet him and paid the donation fee to bring him home. I’ll never forget the photo he sent me of this cute dog just chilling in the back seat of the car. Little did we know just how much time he would end up chilling in the back seat.
The photo above was from the first day we had him in our lives. I knew I liked him a lot right away, but I had no idea how deeply in love I would fall with this boy. He was FULL of love, joy and sweetness. He loved laying on my legs on the couch while I would draw and he loved joining me for hikes, camping, park walks, etc. He loved the snow but was not a fan of swimming. The only food he didn’t like was cucumbers. He loved ALL people.
We named Althea after one of our favorite Grateful Dead songs. When we were considering different names I googled Althea and learned that she was a Greek goddess, the goddess of healing. It was not lost on me that one day she would be a big part of our healing after we would inevitably experience the great loss of Mr.B. The name felt like a perfect fit and she has stood up to the challenge so far (whether she knows it or not).
I have no doubt that she is going to be another wonderful dog in my life. She will go with me on my hikes and she will be there when we are sick. She will sit with me while I work and draw, just like she is doing right now.
I know this was a super long email and I thank you for being a part of this journey with me. Life is full of ups and downs, let's stay connected through it all.
Much love!
Anna Fox